DEAR LACKEYS OF THE CAPITALIST RUNNING DOGS,

HOPE YOU ARE WELL. WE THE UNPOPULAR PEOPLES
FRONT FOR THE LIBERATION OF MONSALL (BUT FUCK
HARPURHEY WHAT THEY EVER DONE FOR US?) SEND
OUR COMMISERATIONS AND CONDOLENCES UPON
THE SAD NEWS OF THE DEATH OF CLASS WARRIOR
AND MAN OF THE PEOPLE BERNARD WILSON.
ME AND THE LADS WERE ALL SAT AROUND OUR
SECRET HIDEOUT (IN A CABIN AT THE BACK OF THE
ASHES CLUB IN MOSTON) LAST NIGHT AND WE ALL
AGREED THAT BERNARD WAS OUR FAVOURITE
KIDNAP (THE WORST WAS THAT AGRAPHOBIAC
FROM HEMDEN VALE. MORE TROUBLE THAN HE WAS
WORTH THAT ONE. LIKE TRYING TO GET A WINKEL OUT
OF HIS SHELL TRYING TO GET HIM OUT OF THAT TRAVEL
TRUNK. HE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO GO HOME. HE
ESCAPED AND CAME BACK THREE TIMES TO MY
KNOWLEDGE).
BUT BERNARD WHAT A GENTLEMAN!!!
WITH MOST KIDNAPPEES YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY IN
MAKING THEM TALK BUT WITH BERNARD WE HAD
DIFFICULTY TRYING TO STOP HIM.
I REMEMBER SAYING
'BERNARD WHAT IS YOUR GRANDMOTHERS
ADDRESS?'
'WILD HORSES WOULDN'T MAKE ME REVEAL THAT'
HE REPLIED.
BUT BEFORE I'D FINISHED SAYING 'TOMMO PUT
THE ELECTRODES ON HIS TESTICLES' HE'D SAID
'14 CLEGHEATON STREET. BACK OF THE BELL
CRESCENT NURSING HOME. SHE'S A SMALL
WOMAN. LIGHT OF FEET AND FINGERS. SHE CAN
BE FOUND MOST AFTERNOONS IN THE GALA
BINGO HALL....CAN I GO NOW?
YES A CARD INDEED!!!!

OUR FUNERAL DEMANDS ARE THREE IN NUMBER
1) 'I WILL NEVER PASS THIS WAY AGAIN' BY
SLIM WHITMAN AS BERNARD'S FUNERAL SONG

2)A FREE BAR AND BUFFET IN THE QUEEN ANNE

3)THE ABOLITION OF BRUSELL SPROUTS

THE RIVERS WILL RUN RED
WITH YOUR BLOOD
US

P.S.....CRY BERNARD FOR BESWICK AND LET
SLIP THE WHIPPETS OF WAR