Dear All,

I feel after disscussion with my
therapist that I must tell you of my
tortured upbringing. At the hospital
where I was born another baby was
born only minutes before and my
Mother became convinced that me
and the other baby had been
swapped.
It became like an obsession with her.
She haunted the other women with
letters, phone-calls, threats and
malicious rumours about her and
the milkman. She even attempted to
kidnap the other child.
Finally Mrs Patel got an injunction
out against her.
But Mam or 'Mrs Wilson' as she made
me call her never took to me.
Even though i have got ginger hair
she used to say to my brothers
'What you playing with that Asian kid
for?'
But through therapy I have finally
come to terms with my past.
And I am a better person for it.

LOVE AND PEACE
BERNARD WILSON

Dear All,

sorry i haven't written that much of
late but i have been very busy.
I decided that my message is universal
and in the words of the Gospel according
to Saint Matthew I must 'speak in
tongues'. So I sent for some Linguaphone
records.
'Send no money now' said the advert
(the word now was a bit of a waste).
I wonder if the Disciples had the same
problems that i am encountering?
I mean I can order a cup of coffee in
Urdu but nowhere can I find the words
to warn people about the firey furnaces
of hell.
There was I on a podium in Rhyll shopping
mall armed with a copy of Clydd Cymru
thinking I was yelling 'Repent ye the
Kingdom of Heaven is at hand' and all the
time I was shouting 'is this an all night
launderette?'.
No converts but a two bag wash for the
price of one and a car sticker.

LOVE AND PEACE
BERNARD WILSON

P.S. Tell Mr O'Reilly that I will be
ordering my repairs in Cantonese
here on in.