Dear Mr O'Reilly,

A nod is as good as a wink to a blind
horse. So between me, you and the gate
post (which incidently could do with a
lick of paint), I have a contact at the
T.V. licensing centre.
The month before the detector vans hit
Beswick he sends me a letter warning us.
So all the next month me and Denise keep
the door locked incase they knock.
Anyway let me know your address and i'll
see about getting you the same
arrangement

LOVE AND PEACE
BERNARD WILSON

P.S. Why are all dog licenses the same
price?...surely if you keep a back n white
dog that license should be cheaper?

Dear Mr O'Reilly,

I put pen to paper to avail you of Denise's
latest venture, Clonic Irrigation. Yes!!!
Clonic Irrigation. She used to work for
Dynarod so it's in her blood.
I gave her my plastic pipe from the old home
brew days and it brought tears to her eyes.
Her lips quivered and her knees trembled and
then she told me of the time as a Girl-Guide
on bob-a-job week.
She was washing cars with a hosepipe and shammy
and the driver of a punto took advantage of her
behind the bin shed over the pots of bergonia's.
She says it was the first time she attained orgasm
(which could account for the purchase of the new
waterbed).
Still that's all water under the bridge now!!!
So Mr O'Reilly if you need raking out then pipe
up for Clonic Irrigation

LOVE AND PEACE
BERNARD WILSON