Dear People,

I write to denounce the false prophet that was
the late Bernard Wilson. He who perished in a
Dublib B&B (£15 a night, £17 with an inside
toilet) fire. I have evidence that he was
embezzling the Beswick branch of the Burning
Branch church out of the meat pie money and
was serving spam on a best ham night to the
pensioners.
There is also the matter of him breaking his
oath of silence whilst a member of the Silent
Brothers of Beswick darts team. I mean we
don't mind the odd word. It was perfectly
reasonable when Odu Mwangabwingi cursed
our lord cos the Columbian all-night-netball
powder deal went down. But to spend £798
on chat lines is just not on.
I know you mealy mouthed liberal bleeding
hearts at the Housing are planning a memorial
of some kind.
I've heard it mooted a statue placed inbetween
Housing and Grey Mare Lane Police Station.
With Bernard giving his famous four fingered
salute in either direction.
But we the God fearing residents of Beswick
will fight.
It's not too late to arm the Neighbourhood
Watch!!!
Let's reclaim the parks and off-licenses. One
drive by shooting of some short skirted
lambrinied up cake faced bimbo should serve
as a shot across the bows.
Beswick is a seething cauldron of unrest, we
are in the white heat of hatred. There is hate
in the hood and blood in the air and despair
in the minute

WRAP UP WARM
ELSIE CARR (Widow but still looking)

P.S. I've poisoned the cheap peaches in
Netto, as we speak half of Hemden Vale
are in a catatonic trance

Dear Housing,

who will hold me oh so tight?
in the darkest, darkest night?
who will be my candle light?
and guide me through every fight?
now that daddy's gone

who will wipe away my tears?
tell me stories, kill my fears?
watch with love through the years
who will be my eyes and ears?
now that daddy's gone

who will put me down to bed?
and pat my worried little head
who will listen to what i've said?
and not love someone else instead?
now that daddy's gone

YOURS SINCERLY
EVERTON WILSON (AGED 9)